TYL@3:30a (#5): Tom Hanks’ Bro Is Also Woody
I was gonna go to sleep...then I got caught up on YouTube...and my, oh my, was it amazing, as always. So check this out, I've always said Tom Hanks is like the most normal celebrity on the planet, then Jon Stewart confirmed he felt the same a while back, and now, I'm further convinced: Tom Hanks is a cool ass white dude. I think if I had to vote for a celebrity to be president, I don't know if I'd pick Tom Hanks, but I'd highly consider him. I bet Tom Hanks could whoop Chuck Norris' ass.
Things You Learn at 3:30a (#5):
Tom Hanks' Bro Is Also Woody
And that's all I got to say about that...
TYL@3:30a (#4): Never Ending Shampoo Makes Kids Cry
Good morning. Yes. Morning. Ever seen a kid cry because they got shampoo on their eyes? Probably. Ever almost cried because you got shampoo in your eyes? Guaranteed. Ever try to rinse shampoo out of your hair but the suds never decimate? ...
Things You Learn at 3:30a (#4):
Never Ending Shampoo Makes Kids Cry
EL-OH--muthafuckin'-EL.
That was absolutely brilliant.
TYL@3:30a (#3): Barack Got The Juice Now
Yeah, we know, Osama is dead, but was he dead already? Is he really dead? Did he really even exist? So many questions, I know, and all are worth asking.
Well, that is until you realize that Osama bin Laden was really strategically assassinated. That's right, planned by Barack Obama and executed by the US military and LAPD, in coordination with the new Fast & Furious: Fast Five screening. Wait, too much to handle? Let the man, Kain Carter himself, explain it to you:
Things You Learn at 3:30a (#3):
Barack Got The Juice Now
Don't believe everything they tell you because Osama ain't go out like no punk. Believe that.
*cuffs two AK47's*
B-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-AAAATTT!!
TYL@3:30a (#2): Lion’s Are Badass…But Not As Badass As Hippo’s.
It's May! Specifically May 3rd. Why is that significant? It begins a 9 day countdown to the one year anniversary of scarletSmoke.net as a blog. Let's begin the end of the first year with some dope shit brought to you by Mufasa himself:
Things You Learn at 3:30a (#2):
Lions Are Badass...
...But Not As Badass As Hippo's.
For real though, that shit's nuts. Yet, I can't help think that if I got bit in the head by a hippo, I'd die...like...instantly. Don't you think?
TYL@3:30a (#1): Never Say Goodbye
Greetings insomniacs!
Why am I posting a blog so late you ask? Well, I decided to start a new whenever-I'm-randomly-learnin'-new-shit-at-3:30am post that I've appropriately named, Things You Learn at 3:30a (or TYL@3:30a for short). It probably won't consist of much, I mean, who want's to do much anyways at 3:30a besides sleep..? Exactly. So, I'll jump head first into it.
Things You Learn at 3:30a (#1):
Never say goodbye.
Tune in, there's no telling when I'll be up learnin' shit again (probably tomorrow).